


Someone I love

by Pomelofangirl



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Longing, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mutual Pining, Yearning, meaningful gazes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23666524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomelofangirl/pseuds/Pomelofangirl
Summary: "Jim feels there's something so oddly personal, even if old-fashioned about wearing a ring you got from your love.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 8
Kudos: 101





	Someone I love

**Author's Note:**

> This is gay and sweet I could not stop myself. A quick thing I wrote yesterday because I cannot stop thinking about how spirk is the epitome of "we are different but we respect our differences and choose to be happy" or something. 
> 
> Many many thanks to my beta @organicgold who gave me encouragement in posting this fic.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy reading this <3

"Is this what Terrans call a wedding ring?" the alien prince inquires looking at Kirk's hand.

They are on a diplomatic mission on Delta Centauri V and were invited to a celebratory dinner. Since the contact is already established and the treaty already signed there is no need to be overly polite.

Kirk could ignore this question or give a dismissive answer, but he's not like that. Also Spock is looking at them, perhaps hearing whatever he will say.

"This?" Kirk points to his finger, an afterthought, as if it wasn't important. "No it's neither of these things. I got this as a rite of passage, a family heirloom and wear it only on the most special occasions such as this dinner. Now, were this an engagement ring, I'd wear it every day on every occasion." His smile is bright as if the mere thought of being married was a thing that brings happiness.

"Why?" The alien is confused, his big eyes fixated on Kirk, blinking.

"Well, I'd probably not be allowed, after all jewelry is not Starfleet regulation, but I'd still love to do that. If there was someone who loved me that much to ask me to marry them I suppose it would be someone I love as well. And looking at a ring like that would remind me of them even if we are apart." Kirk's smile is even more bright as he looks at the ring he's wearing. As he sees the alien still not understanding he changes the topic to the local food they're currently eating.

Kirk notices that Spock listened to everything he'd said. Maybe that was the reason he told the alien in the first place.

Spock files that information for later. He'd meant to ask his Captain about the significance of the ring and why he puts it on only sometimes when he's wearing the dress uniforms. And it's only on occasions where no apparent women are involved as if having this human custom would be offensive to alien cultures. He wonders if he'd wear an engagement ring all the time as he says or if he was only polite.

He asks McCoy about it. Spock does not dare to ask the Captain again lest it be seen as something strange. He was not supposed to overhear that conversation in the first place. His parents do not have any rings, Vulcan marriage bonds are strong enough to ward off others. It is illogical to wear a memento of someone if you have an instant telepathic bond that reaches light years away instantly.

"It belonged to his father."

"What?"

"His mom gave it to him when he graduated from the academy and then became captain. He's not used to wearing rings, I suppose men usually don't wear them, unless they are married and proud of that."

"Not even engagement rings?"

"Why are you asking me about all this? If I didn't know better I'd think you're planning to propose to him of all things." McCoy raises the eyebrow "But no, of course not. You'd think the custom would change in the 23rd century but nope, tradition is tradition. Betrothal rings are meant only for women, in the same way as flowers are only given to women, and not men. But just because it's not tradition and let's be honest - Jim is a romantic fool - it doesn't mean the he wouldn't want it."

"That is quite illogical. If he would wish for a flower why not just ask?"

"Well you have to admit that love rarely is logical."

Since then, Spock gave Jim flowers with the increase of 30%. But nothing came of it, he just knew that he likes sunflowers and got them on every occasion available.

...

It is after the first five year mission and Spock sees a ring. It is a silver one with a gold band in the middle, and somehow it reminds him of James Kirk. He estimated the size of the Captain's finger a long time ago. He knew it by now, he'd be a fool not to. The way those hands tenderly caught his, the way he observed them from up close. Spock finds an unusual and illogical urge to buy the ring even if he and his Captain are not _like that_. They haven't talked about any of this. But this ring reminded him of Jim and he's going back to Vulcan soon. He could indulge in worldly possessions if only for a short while.

...

They are back again on the Enterprise and Jim still looks at him with love and adoration in his eyes as if for all those years he never stopped loving him, not even once.

Illogical.

But also appreciated.

Spock has the ring in his pocket of his black cape. He holds onto it, did hold onto it for all those years, only to remind himself that somewhere out there, is a reason for him not to purge all the emotions.

That he's unable to.

And yet he feels this is not a good time to ever think of this, not now, not ever. He will continue to hold onto it though.

“This. Simple feeling. Is beyond V'Ger's comprehension.” and as he holds Kirk's hand and as Kirk holds his hands in both, Spock knows instantly.

The bond is there. Was there all along. This is why he'd been so certain of everything up until now. This is why he bought the ring, and could not undergo Kolinahr, this is why the priestess knew this. The strong martial bond waries off other people tells them - we are together, we are this always have been always will - and this is why she told him his place is elsewhere. Because it is, indeed not in the sands of Gol but here, beside Jim next to him.

And Spock knows that Jim too, wants it. There's no objection, only elation that he is safe, and now that Spock knows what they are it seems almost too easy to take the ring out of his drawer for precious things and give it to Kirk. He knows he loved him all along.

He should make sure that Kirk knows the same, that he feels the same. He needs to ask him that question.

...

Rings indeed are not regulation. Nobody wears them on a starship, all the records are public anyway. Yet Jim feels there's something so oddly personal, even if old-fashioned about wearing a ring you got from your love.

Not that he'd ever get one. Vulcans don't wear rings, even Spock's mother explained that to him when they visited. Indeed there is no need for that. He dares not to dream about ever getting one - if he got married it would be with a woman and women don't give rings upon engagement, it's the other way around. And yet he feels this deep longing for being romanced, for being appreciated the way he usually does appreciate every serious partner he ever had.

When Spock leaves for Vulcan Jim knows that the mere spark of hope he had that they could ever begin something more, fades. Whatever emotions he evoked in him, he hoped they'd be good ones, not ones that are unnecessary. And yet they are.

As he works on the desk job side of things he notices that here nobody cares about regulation as you would on a starship. He grows his hair, now that there's nobody significant to impress and wonders if he'd ever be okay with that. Living like this.

He lasts only five years and when he sees Spock again, all the feelings he thought he grew out of come back with a double force. He could kiss him right there on the bridge even if they were never like that before. But he finds that he wants to do that.

After V'Ger and Decker disappear, after Spock says that he does not want to go back to Vulcan, Jim starts to hope again. That maybe they will come back to how they were, that he'd get his friend back and maybe much more if he's allowed.

And they are back to their friendship full of trust and saving each other's life. Of the self sacrifice to an unhealthy degree because living without the other is worse than death. And Jim notices that Spock looks at him differently. As if he could reflect the love he sees in Jim's eyes.

So he asks him. If he'd like to try out something, but he'd understand if Spock doesn't want to, and before he goes too deep into the _you don't have to of course_ , Spock stops him. And agrees.

One year later they start talking about their future together. Jim asks if he wants to move in with him, to start something more permanent than just a boyfriend, or casual dating. They are on a private dinner in Captain's quarters, and Spock does not say anything.

Only later, when they finish, and Jim still sits on his chair, Spock nears him. He gets down on one knee and takes out a ring. It's silver with a blue band in the middle - the opposite of command stripes, something that seems uniquely Spock - and something that Jim would like.

"Jim. I'd like to make you happy. Let me help." he says gently his eyes sparkle with the little lights full of love and adoration, perhaps mirroring the way Jim looked at Spock all those years.

"Yes. Yes Spock. I will." Kirk replies breathlessly and is so overcome with happiness that the only other thing he does is lets Spock put the ring on his finger, and kiss him.

**Author's Note:**

> Any kind of feedback on my stories is greatly appreciated <3


End file.
